In Memory of My Wonderful, Amazing Mom

Two years ago we lost my mom to breast cancer. I can honestly say it was, and still is, the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her like crazy. I yearn to go on one of our lunch dates- where we would sit and talk for hours and hours about EVERYTHING. We often went to Wildflower Bread Company at Chandler mall, then we would do some shopping together. She would ask me to be her shopping consultant to make sure she didn’t pick out clothes that made her look like a grandma. I would also sometimes meet her at her office in Phoenix to have lunch. Those are some of my favorite memories with my mom. She was my best friend. I went to her for everything and she was always so caring and thoughtful about my problems– she never belittled them in any way. I get so jealous when Mother’s Day rolls around or when I hear friends talking about things they’re doing with their moms. Or when someone says they called their mom crying and she made her feel all better. I miss that. I need that. You’re never too old to need your mom.

Exactly a month ago today, February 22nd, was the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death. =( One of her favorite things to do on the weekends was to garden. I love gardening because it reminds of the times my sister and I would plant flowers with our mom on Saturday mornings when we were little. So this year I decided I would remember her by planting flowers in our front flowerbed. That Saturday– the day before the anniversary– I went to a nursery on McKellips and Home Depot and picked out a variety of really colorful flowers that I new she would love, to fill the front bed. I was really happy with how it turned out. I think my mom would have been proud.

Here's how it turned out! (I'm not the best photographer)

My mom was my number one role model who helped form the identity I have today. She continues to shape who I am even without her presence. Her strength, independence, and drive left an indelible impression on my life. Her influence meant everything to me– not just because she was my mom, but because she was the most ambitious and compassionate person I knew. I feel that her ambition has formed my identity and I hope to take after her commendable qualities. I always strive to do my very best in everything. That was one of her most admirable attributes and she was always encouraging me to live my life that way.
One way she showed her strength and integrity was when she was diagnosed with cancer. She kept a very positive attitude which has changed me as a person. I feel that I wouldn’t be able to deal with her loss if she hadn’t been the strong, independent, driven woman that she truly was. An example of her confident attitude was when she lost all her hair because of the intense Chemotherapy she was undergoing, and she decided not to wear a wig. She said, "Eh, who cares. At least it takes much less time to do my hair in the morning." It was sayings such as those, that showed her assertiveness and sheer confidence. She didn’t care what people thought about her bald head. In fact, one day while she was shopping –that was her self-therapy – a woman came up to her and acknowledged my mom’s self-confidence. The lady said something like, "I really admire you for not wearing a wig or trying to cover up your bald head. You carry yourself with such confidence and spunk." My mom was very appreciative of the compliment but humble about it as well.

Mom, you are always in my thoughts and prayers! I miss you dearly and I will be happy if I turn out to be just half the person you were. You taught me many great lessons that I live by daily! I will love you for always and forever!

-Your Bunny Rabbit